February 2012
Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
Woman: Well, why can't I have birth control?
Government: Because. Sex isn't for recreation. It's for procreation.
Woman: But it can help regulate my period and benefit me in other ways.
Government: Too bad.
Man: For no reason other than for recreational sex, may I have birth control?
Government: Do you have a penis?
Man: YES, YES I DO!!
Government: WELL HOWDY, VALID CITIZEN. You can buy condoms by the dozens. Here, here's a pack of special condom for "His Pleasure." Oooh, these come in different colours and flavours. Here, try these. They have ribs on them. And this one glows in the dark!! LOL OMG DICK LIGHTSABER!!
Government: But seriously, you're a man. You can do what ever you want.
Woman: But-
Government: Shut up, you sinning, freeloading hussy.
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I'm so excited.
I ran for 10 minutes straight this morning after work.
Yes…that doesn’t sound impressive at all. I know that. But I’ve got a pretty bad case of asthma, so this is a HUGE feat for me! I used to not be able to make it for a block without feeling like my lungs were going to shatter. I’ve been working myself up to this point for a couple weeks now, though. I run in small...
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“Jason Derulo.”
– Sylvia Plath (via incorrectsylviaplathquotes)
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mols:
I think you could fall in love with anyone if you saw the parts of them no one else gets to see. Like if you followed them around invisibly for a day and saw them crying in their bed at night or singing in the shower or humming quietly to themselves as they make a sandwich or even just walking along the street. And even if they were really weird and had no friends at school, I think, after...
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“She was illusive. She was today. She was tomorrow. She was the faintest scent of...”
– Jerry Spinelli (via rarararambles)
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expressmusique:
single . virgin . horny .
— damn.
hate when I get like this
these are the times when I rethink my saving myself lol
— sucks :p
But then I remember how sex grosses me out to the max.
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The guy screaming "YEEEEAHHH" in the audience when...
Yeah…he wins, too.
And so do the two gay boys in my apartment screaming from excitement.
Announcer: THE ARTIST? TWO FOR YOU!
Harry Potter: bu-
Announcer: HUGO? FOUR FOR YOU, HUGO, YOU GO HUGO!
Harry Potter: uh-
Announcer: Is War Horse in the audience? Here you go, one for you...
Harry Potter: excuse me-
Announcer: AND NONE FOR HARRY POTTER BYE
iamlunacyfringe asked: CONGRATS AGAIN! I cannot say it enough! you were truly fabulous last night! I really wish I would've stayed in Springfield last night to celebrate with ya'll! <3
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The Hangover: Bellatone Edition.
We think one of our boys has gone missing.
Guess we’ll have to check all of the rooftops.
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Last night was RIDICULOUS.
I still need to wash the champagne out of my hair.
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